Sunday, March 2, 2008

The Battle

Fear. I've fought the battle with it many times before. It is a battle – spiritual warfare. The enemy is quick and sly and he knows what my buttons are. He knows which ones to push to start me down the path of worry. My heart beats fast in my chest. It feels tight like I can't breathe.

I run down the checklist wondering why. Did we give him his medication? Did he watch too much T.V. or play too many video games today? Is he overtired? Is he anxious or worried about something… if so what?

Spencer has just had a seizure. He was already in bed asleep. When I went in to check on him, I found him seizing. I'm not sure how long. He has had incontinence. When I turn on the light and arouse him he comes out of it. He is upset. He always worries because he thinks he has scared us. He has such a tender heart. He is always more concerned about others than about himself.

We assure him it's not his fault. We change his PJ's, clean him up, change the sheets, pray over him, put him back to bed, snuggle with him for awhile and hold our breath. Will it happen again tonight? Will we have to call 911… make hospital trip? We lay out the rescue medication just in case. It will be a long night. There won't be much sleep. I will watch him.

When I begin to focus on the problem…my mind goes all kinds of places. I won't even give the enemy the satisfaction of listing the worries. The enemy wants me to be afraid and worry. Sometimes he wins and I am afraid. I worry. Tonight…I will try very hard not to. I will stand on the promises God has given me.

When I focus on Him, the problem doesn't disappear, but He promises He will walk through my valley with me. He reminds me that He is in control. I will stand on His word.

"Do not be afraid. I am your shield, your very great reward. " Genesis 15:1

"Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there". Genesis 21:17

"Do not be afraid; the LORD your God himself will fight for you".
Deuteronomy 3:22

"News about him spread all over Syria, and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, those having seizures, and the paralyzed, and he healed them." Matthew 4:24

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose". Romans 8:28

"The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed". Isaiah 53:5

"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:10-18

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:26

There are so many more promises. He cannot go back on His promises. He is faithful. He is praying for Spencer and me. He sees us. He loves us. He was wounded and beaten for our healing. He died for us. He is coming back for us one day… and when He does and we reach our heavenly home… we will no longer have to deal with the seizures.

"They will see the glory of the LORD, the splendor of our God.Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way,say to those with fearful hearts, "Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you."Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped.Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy. Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert." Isaiah 35:1-6


Carol said...

I'm praying for you. We just heard tonight that God never changes and that His promises are as true today as they were years upon years ago. What a powerful post. Know that my heart is with you.

Beth Cotell said...

What a beautiful post! You are a great witness to the peace and strength that can be found in believing and trusting in God and His Word.

I am praying for Spencer.

Michelle said...

I will keep the words of your post with me. I have similar struggles with my daughter's asthma. I too try to focus on the promises of God to fight worry. It helps me to pray for wisdom to know how to best help her. I will be praying fo you and Spencer.

DeAnna said...

Oh, Amy. Tears are pouring as I am writing this to you. The Lord tells us- have no fear little flock for the Father is with you. Be strong and courageous. He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it. He knows you name. He knows your every thought. He sees each tear that falls and hears you when you call. You and Greg and Spencer are truly amazing! Take hold of that ACTIVE faith!

Cheri said...

I'm still praying and I always will!

Love, Cheri

Jenny said...

I'm sorry you had such a hard night! I'm praying for you, I loved all your scriptures.

In the hard times that is all we really have to hang onto. Thank you for sharing with us!

Anonymous said...

thank you for sharing this!!! I will be back to this very post as a reminder to me!

Wifeof1Momof4 said...

Praying for Spencer RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

elizabeth embracing life said...

Praying for your young man. Do not for one minute give satan any kind of glory over this. Instead thank God for the fear brings you CLOSER to Him, closer to embracing his promises and understanding his care and love for your heart and your son's. blessings from a new reader of yours.

Kelly said...

Love this post--fear is such a crippling trap.

Melissa in Mel's World said...

My heart just breaks for you...but I also hold on and trust in the promises of His word. They do NOT come back void and they are filled with Truths.

I don't know the details, but I know that I have walked down that road and many other scary ones with my oldest son (he is diabetic) and can tell you sister to sister that He has you and your family on this path for a reason.

Stay strong my sister, stay strong!


Kimberly said...

Oh, sweet Amy. I don't know how I missed this post. I check by here each day. I am so glad you linked back to it.
You are touching lives with your faith in Him. The scripture you placed here, I know will be the strength that someone is needing.
You are a precious woman, and I count it an honor to "know" you. I will be lifting you and Spencer and your family up to the One who loves you more than anyone else ever can!