Janet, Carol, Lysa, Me, Kimberly
Lysa was awesome as usual. She always inspires and challenges. Her challenge is to say "yes" to God. I walked away refreshed and renewed. It seems though, that every time I commit to move forward in faith in some of the areas God is calling me to, I'm immediately pulled into a battle. The enemy knows my weak points and that is where he always hits first. And he hits hard.Which brings me to Tuesday. Tuesday I got to do one of my not so favorite things... call EMS. Spencer had another status seizure. We happened to be out to dinner and running a few errands when it started. Lucia was with us and in hindsight, I feel she tried to alert us to the seizure before it happened. She was very agitated and unsettled at the restaurant. She was pacing and sniffing around Spencer. I really just thought she had to go out, or she was sniffing at food on the floor or something. That is not normal behavior for her in a restaurant though, so I should have realized something was up. She usually just lays under the table completely still and calm the entire time we eat. I guess I just have to get used to what her signals will be to alert us to a seizure.
Anyway, we ran to the store next to the restaurant to pick up some things, and as we were walking down the aisle, Spencer said, "Mom, I think I'm having a ..." He never finished his sentence because it hit him so hard. He could walk but not talk. It was pouring down rain, but rather than have him lie down on the floor in the store, I decided to try to make it to my car. I started a timer and headed out the door holding onto Spencer with Mary Lyndsey and Lucia in tow. We were getting drenched and about half way to the car, Spencer lost control of his legs and I had to catch him and carry him (all 65 pounds of him) to the car.
I finally got the doors of the van open (thank goodness for automatic doors) and everyone loaded into the van. I put him down in the backseat and checked the timer. Almost 8 minutes. I administered his rescue medicine and started the timer again. The seizure was not backing off. In fact, it was getting worse. So after about 8 more minutes, I called 911. It finally wore off as they were arriving in the parking lot.
They checked his vitals and he seemed fine. Only he couldn't speak for over an hour after the seizure. It was concentrated in his face and mouth and he was very postictal. He bit his tongue and cheek up pretty bad. We decided not to transport to the hospital and came home for him to sleep off the medicine. I knew if he seized again last night, we would end up in the hospital, because I can't administer more than one rescue med in a 24 hour period. Thank goodness he slept peacefully through the night.
Today he has been tired, but no more seizures. He is such a trooper. We hadn't finished homework yesterday before we left to go eat dinner, and obviously we didn't do it last night when we returned home. This morning before school, he insisted on finishing it before we left for school. I'm sure most kids would definitely use a seizure as an excuse to get out of homework. I'm so thankful he doesn't let his epilepsy stop him from doing things he wants to do or that he doesn't try to use it as a crutch. I hope it always remains so.
It's not lost on me that last week, I was drawn to 2 Corinthians 12:9. Our pastor even preached on this very verse on Sunday.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
This particular passage of scripture comes right after Paul has said he was given a thorn in his flesh to torment him, a messenger of Satan, and that he had begged three times to have God take it away. Many commentators believe the "thorn" was epilepsy. Whatever it was, God's answer to him was "My grace is sufficient for you."
I have begged many, many times for Spencer's epilepsy to be taken away. For whatever reason, God has not chosen to do that. I'm not sure what His purposes are, but I know He is good and He only has good planned for Spencer. He uses everything, even things that might be meant to bring us harm for His good. His grace is sufficient for us so we will boast in our weakness to bring Him glory.